A full Review of Donkey Kong 64...
“Put your hands together, if you wanna rap…”
I don't think non-yellow game paks even exist for DK64
Overview:
To this day, I think this might be the greatest and best rap ever written. Donkey Kong 64, clearly for the Nintendo 64, tells us the simple tale of “King K. Rool Stole Donkey Kong’s bananas; DK is angry and wants them back.” I suppose there’s that whole ‘stealing his relatives’ thing as well, but that’s not important. Good Donkey Kongs know the bananas are where it’s at. But, Donkey Kong wakes up to find himself out of bananas and with an octagonal-breasted girlfriend nonetheless, and proceeds to work on a solution to his K. Rool problem (No, the bad name jokes never stop coming). K. Rool has also found a way to port an entire laser-firing manmade island all the way to Donkey Kong’s island. While we’re at it, we’ll discuss the fact that the entire island is shaped like DK’s head. When Rare does it, it’s funny and well done, not to mention kinda cool when you realize “Whoa..I’m on DK’s eyebrow right now.” When Nintendo does it nowadays, the main character’s head is a spaceship that looks as dull as any other terrain. But I digress, Donkey Kong is left to rescue his family, find his bananas, and save his sexy visage from being obliterated by a laser. Fortunately for him, the laser doesn’t work at the moment, and he has time. Convenient time.
Gameplay:
The game’s a 3D platformer, much like Mario 64, yet its size is unmatched. As far as I’m aware, this is the only game that needed an expansion pack to be applied to the Nintendo 64 in order to function. To this day, it still outsizes some of the larger environments you see in games, an amazing feat considering how long it’s been since this game graced our world. Most of the game is spent walking about as one of the 5 Kongs, working on collecting mounds and mounds of stuff. Donkey Kong 64 is a collection game in its highest form. You’ve got Bananas, Golden Bananas, Blueprints, Banana coins, Crystal Coconuts, Film, Ammo, all this stuff strewn everywhere in every environment. But the catch is each Kong is unique in that he or she can only collect 1/5 of the Golden bananas and 1/5 of the normal bananas on any given level. This effectively turns 7 levels (Not including the final area) into 35 areas worth of gameplay. If you hate that sort of thing, this game’s probably not for you, but you are in no way required to get 100% of the stuff in the game; it’s merely for completion’s sake. The normal bananas are typically in bunches or in fairly obvious places; normally, you’re not left to hunt those for too long. But the Golden Bananas are special. With 25 in each area (Including DK Isle, the main area, or hub), you’re given just over 200 bananas to hunt for total completion, and here’s where the real meat of the game is.
Every one of those 200 bananas is gotten in more or less a unique way. Sure, some of the same gimmicks are used more than once, but for the most part, you’re always doing something new to seek out and collect the Golden Bananas. Think Super Mario 64 with even more Stars. They even function in the same way, in that the Golden Bananas allow you to continue to the next area the more and more you gather. Some of the zany stuff Rare came up with to have you get these bananas is really what sets this game apart from most others of its time, and many today; the sheer amount of variation in what you have to do keeps the game rolling the entire way through. You’re getting powerups and upgrades to your skills all the way to the end, making for a dynamic game that requires you to think about what you’re doing, what you need, and what the fastest way to do it is. The sheer amount of exploration and secretive goodies thrown into this game makes it fantastic in that regard; I would argue that, of this generation, Donkey Kong 64 goes unmatched in terms of exploration and poking around. Personally, I love this about this game. Even now, when I’m playing the game for the 3rd or 4th time, I’ll see something new or find a new path I didn’t know existed before. Now, just like SM64, it may seem to be a bit dull once every Golden Banana is found, but the replay value still exists in surprising forms.
Bosses come every level, and man, are some of them crazy. I know Rare’s pretty well known for their creativity in this department, but bosses like Madjack are something else. Never have I been wowed so much by a boss fight as the fight against Madjack. It scared the living hell out of me the first time I played, and I don’t doubt many have felt the same. The bosses in this game actually feel intimidating. They’re almost always huge and they always pack a huge punch. Something about how Rare implemented these boss fights makes them absolutely perfect for the game. They’re the right level of challenging to keep them fun, yet tough, especially the first time through.
Switching between Kongs, using their special abilities, shooting a variety of produce-based weaponry, and collecting everything you come across as you go makes the game feel like such an expansive and immersive game that I can’t possibly understand why it wouldn’t be enjoyable. It doesn’t need gore, it doesn’t need violence, and hell, it survives pretty well without a huge plot. The sheer amount of stuff to do is phenomenal, and I’d go as far as to say it puts a flame to modern games that can’t capture the same zany fun without it feeling so childish or cutesy that it’s not fun for anyone over 12. Hands down, this game handles the problems of the N64 and pushes the system to its limits better than any other 3D Adventure/Platformer I’ve played. The Camera is great as well, being fully adjustable.
Gameplay Score: 5/5
Music:
As previously mentioned, not only does this game have the DK Rap, but it also houses some of the catchiest, most well thought out songs I’ve ever heard. Anyone who has played this, or Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie knows Rare’s style when it comes to music. Most of it focuses on stranger, yet deeper upbeat music that only really appears in these three games. It’s hard to describe, but the musical factors in this game go perfectly with the atmospheres created. The music in Frantic Factory is the perfect level of creepy and somewhat disturbing, Crystal Caverns houses some of the most peaceful and soothing music I’ve ever heard, and Fungi Forest captures the wacky barnyard-like theme spectacularly. The music lines up so well with the game’s environment that I have literally stopped playing just to look and listen, soaking up what a beautiful place I was in. The sound effects, save DK’s tree-humping grunts made when climbing objects, are also incredibly appropriate for what they need to be. Collection noises are memorable, yet not annoying or jarring, and all character voices present reflect the Kong’s personalities exactly as they seem.
Music Score: 5/5
Graphics:
Obviously, this game can’t stand up to 1080p Mass Effect 2. But for the Nintendo 64, this was damn good animating and graphical design. The textures were often simply and repeated, but were done so in such a way that it is really not noticeable or bothersome. The character designs and bright colors given to us by Rare help paint this atmosphere of sheer awesomeness the game takes place in. The sheer amount of variation in areas, the sandy wind-blown muck of Angry Aztec contrasting the dense and dark-hearted Creepy Castle really makes this game something special. I’m always disappointed when an entire game looks about the same (IE Fallout 3, Borderlands) and everything I come across is a realistic brown or grey. If I wanted realistic, I’d go outside. The sheer number of different environments you’re allowed to explore makes this game truly feel massive in a way something like Fallout cannot. It’s size-massive, not content-massive. All those folks telling you that missions last you forever and ever are lying; they run out quickly and are often ‘kill this guy, he’s bad’ or ‘we need this, find it’. Sure, you’re sent on a similar task throughout all of DK64, but at least you get to be somewhere pretty while you’re doing it, and you can actually enjoy parts of your mission. Also, Crystal Caverns deserves recognition as the best snow/ice level to exist in a video game ever. If you are not impressed by what it is, what it contains, and what you’re experiencing, you probably hate everything that’s not on an Xbox or PS3.
Graphics Score: 5/5
Hate/Praise box:
Often, we’ll review a game/movie/anime thing, and it will look something like this; where everything is given a 5/5, or we say it blows and give it low scores. But here is where the opposites belong. Not EVERYTHING about DK64 is amazing. Sure, on a whole, I like it a lot, but there are things that suck too. For instance, the damn DK arcade machine game you’re required to play just to beat the game. Something that’s beyond me is the fact that Rare forces you to play two classic arcade games in order to finish the main game. The first, Jetpac, isn’t too bad. You just need to play for 10-15 minutes. The same hold true with the other game, Classic Donkey Kong. The real pain in the ass comes when you realize you have to play much more than that. Jetpac still isn’t bad, it’s sort of fun, and it’s easy enough to get the points you need. But Donkey Kong is a goddamn nightmare. Unlike an actual arcade game, you’re playing with a (fairly crappy) control stick on a slow-paced game with, let’s be honest, some of the worst game mechanics ever devised. This game is like a three-legged cat had sex with a physics engine, and what came out was what was used to produce jump paths and death interactions. Now, I realize there are people who probably liked this thing on the Arcade, but this game sucks. Yes, it’s hard, I get that. I wouldn’t mind losing if it didn’t take a full 2 minutes every time you lose to get back into the game to try again. Between the loading of all the game’s resources every time, the time required for DK to pull the lever, and the amount of time you spend staring at the intro screens, you’ve probably about ready to tear off Donkey Kong’s limbs and beat senseless whichever poor sap happens to be near you at the time.
Seriously, screw this.
The only other complaint I have is the lack of a reward for getting everything 100%. Yes, there’s a crappy cutscene at the end if you get every single golden banana, but I’m talking everything everything. It would be nice if your efforts were recognized in that regard.
Ending Notes:
This game has a few minor flaws, but if you’ve never tried it before or heard of it before, it’s worth playing. Even if you don’t like collecting stuff, know that you only have to get about 50% of the stuff in the game to finish the main story. But it really is something else to play this game, especially if you are a fan of exploring and environments in games. I know it’s something love to death, and probably one of the reasons I really appreciate this game, but it’s at least worth playing, if only to look at how impressive the game is, given when it was made. Even now, it’s still something else to marvel at what’s in the game and how creative some of its features are. Especially now, with this game and its accompanying system probably costing about 50$, I would advocate buying it over the next crappy sports game you see on the shelf. It really is worth it, and it’s a damn shame Rare didn’t last too much longer after this. The really could have gone great places, appealing to an audience attracted to weird, kooky, yet fun games.
Final Score: 5/5
-Icefrio
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